Tuesday, 29 December 2015


I'm sprawled on my sofa deep into a Kardashian marathon on E! (the TV network not the drug FYI) and am having a bit of a moment. You see as you read this it’ll be my 24th birthday – not a significant birthday some will say and they have a point, I mean after 21 it’s only multiples of 5 that count, right? Maybe even multiples of 10 (only boring people think this way, be wary of them), but not some random-ass mid-twenties age.
Anyhow, you know what I’m doing now, reflecting. It’s only right, right? I know we grow and change all the time but I wholeheartedly can say that from my 22nd birthday till now has been the most transitional period of my life. SO. MUCH. HAS. HAPPENED. And despite my continual infantile behaviour (working on that) I have learnt so much and it’s definitely moulded me into the adult person I am today. So here my friends, are 24 little things I’ve learnt in 24 years.

1 – Life flashes by in an instance 
Whoa so deep, so soon. But it’s true. Why is it that when you’re a kid each year between your birthday feels three times as long but then when you get to your 20s your last birthday feels like it was 2 weeks ago and you still refer to it as ‘the other day’ until your next birthday arrives.

2 – Don’t buy crap you don’t want just because it’s on sale
It’s a waste of valuable money. The younger me would have bought acid wash battyriders if they were 90% off even though I know that there is no way in hell I’d wear them. If you really want something and it goes on sale then fab, but there is a difference between buying something discounted that you want and buying something because you want the discount.

3 – Do not say a certain age is “old” 
Because one day you will be that age and will have little brats around you saying you’re “old” when you still feel 16. Not cool.

4 – Fear can be overcome 
I used to have a really really huge fear of ants. Yes ants, those tiny tiny little creatures. To be fair it was a fear that was spawned as a toddler after I was sat on a red ants nest - so pretty gruesome but it was a fear that consumed so much of my bloody life! If I went on a family holiday I had to have our room fumigated and NO ONE was allowed sweet food in the room at all. I couldn't sit on grass in the summer (I'd literally crouch) it was awful. Since I've matured into an adult it's hardly something that even crosses my mind. Ok so I still itch a little if I see a nest but I don't allow it to restrict my life anymore to the relief of my friends who can now invite me to picnics.

5 – Bad grammar is the annoyance of life
For real, I’m not saying you need to be a human Webster’s English dictionary, but at least know when it’s time for your or you’re and when shit needs an apostrophe.

6 - Comparing yourself to others is fruitless 
What else does it do but make you feel like a big flop? Either that or you compare yourself to people doing not so well and then ding ding ding you feel like a huge bitch. Not comparing yourself is easier said than done but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised how much time I’ve wasted doing this especially because I have such kick-ass buddies. My friend Liv has the best blog in the world, my friend Zoe has an unreal job on a national newspaper, and my friend Emma is insanely happily married – if I was to compare myself constantly to these girls I’d be ready to give up but instead I revel in it and use it to encourage me to kick more arse.

7 – Deciphering guys is friggin’ hard 
This is something that either doesn’t get easier or I haven’t gotten better at.

8 – TV will not get better than late 90s/early 00s.
The O.C, Laguna Beach, Sister Sister, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Art Attack, SM:TV Live, and of course FRIENDS.

9 – Diet Coke is foul
It’s pointless and way way way too bubbly.

10 – There is a difference between “honest” and being a bitch
You can be honest without being horrid. For instance you can tell your friend not to buy an unflattering dress without saying “Eghrh that looks so effing awful on you! Do not buy it or you will be expelled from my life.” Don’t try and conceal rudeness with being honest because it’s totally transparent.

11 – When you like someone and they don’t like you back it sucks but you’ll be ok
I wrote this post when I was super down in the dumps about #guyprobs and deffo thought it would bug me forever – I mean it does suck and of course you will feel like there is something wrong with you. There isn’t (well, there might be but it’s probably not that) – the bottom line is that you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. But that’s alright because one day you’ll be someone’s cup of tea, in their favourite mug with a chocolate biscuit.

12 – Bad eyebrows can mess up your whole mood 
I wish this wasn’t the case, but if I’ve slept funny on my eyebrows and they refuse to sit properly that can screw with my whole day – makes me consider cutting in a damn fringe.

13 – Best friend break ups are baffling  
My closest friend from Uni just stopped talking to me one day. Literally no forewarning, no major fallout, it just happened. She stopped answering my texts and calls, and that was that. I was baffled and obviously thought it was a personal attack on me (see point 20 below) but have come to realise these things happen. I’m fine now but I still ponder it like an unresolved mystery.

14 – Some things are luck and some things are hard work. 
And sometimes people will label your hard work as luck and sometimes they don’t mean anything by it but they can still kiss my arse.

15 – Coffee addiction is real.
And those 99p coffees from Pret are suckers.

16 – A perfect eyeliner flick is like a total eclipse
It’s a rare and beautiful thing.

17 – You’re never too old to learn
I love learning so much and if I could get paid to learn that would be me sorted for the rest of my life. And although I’ve finished “proper” education each year I set myself a task of learning something new. This year I learnt to knit and started formal lessons on the guitar, next year who knows but it’s something that excites me and makes sure my brain doesn't turn to mush as it becomes consumed with mindless reality tv.

18 – Headphones on a commute are a necessity
Drowns out the misery, you see.

19 – Smooth radio can fix almost any mood
I think they should make me an Ambassador for this station; I talk about it so much. It is the best though – it’s the radio equivalent of sipping on a Galaxy hot chocolate in front of the fire snuggled with someone you love.

20 – Not everything is a personal attack on you
This is something I was really guilty of in my teenage years. If anything happened that directly or indirectly affected me I thought that it was because somewhere down the line someone hated me. Indirect tweet? Is it about me? Were my friends pissed at me? Did that girl look at me funny? Seriously I needed to calm TF down. And now that kind of thing is like water off a duck’s back (is that the saying?). If you think about it, it’s an incredibly self-important way of thinking (hence the teenage angst, I guess) and so I’m glad I’ve grown out of it. I’m still a huge worrier but I channel it into fretting about being late or if I blew out the candle in my room before I left the house.

21 – Spending most of your money on food and clothes is money well spent
Although I continually feel hungry and complain I have nothing to wear so go figure.

22 – Don’t trust a guy that kisses you after you’ve thrown up 
No comment.

23 - No matter how infrequently I play, I still partake in the “if I won the lottery” game
Seriously, I will win one day. When I was little I’d say that when I win I’d build a mansion shaped like a hand. The communal rooms would be in the palm and then me, my parents, sisters and brother would live in a finger each. Genius.

24 – Embarrassing things will make you feel like you want to die but eventually they’ll make for good icebreaker stories.
Like that time a cat weed in my lap, or when I threw up in my hands next to a toilet or when there was a fire drill when I was in the shower on a school ski trip and had to leg it outside and wait in the middle of the Alps wearing nothing but a friggin’ towel. Fun times.


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